I had a dream last night that made quite an impression on me and I would love to share it with you…..it was about a friend of mine who I don’t really get to see all that much, but has impacted my life in a positive way for nearly twenty years. His zest for life and the amount of passion he has as he pursues after God and Love is just one of the many ways he has inspired me over the years.

I was out for dinner with my friends, Denise, Liz, and Katy catching up as it had been a while since we’d seen each other. There was so much laughing and story telling going on that we barely noticed our surroundings; when out of nowhere, Danny, Liz’s husband, is standing at our table in rags….and I mean rags! He looked disheveled and smelled like trash. His clothes were FILTHY….his shoes were the old Adidas from back in the day that are now back in style. As I continued looking at him in complete disbelief, I noticed one of his shoes had come apart between the top and the sole so it would flop while he walked allowing air to get inside the shoe. When I asked him about his shoe he responded “YES! Isn’t that great! That’s my favorite part about these shoes!!” I was speechless.

I then looked around the table at the girls to see what their reactions were to what was happening… Denise and Katy were both just as shocked as I was but Liz didn’t seem to be moved or even surprised by any of it. That too left me speechless.

Danny had the biggest smile on his face… He was actually glowing!
Denise asked him, “What are you doing? Why are you dressed that way?”
Danny responded, “I have decided to take some time and really focus on dying to myself. I’m giving EVERYTHING up…..I want to die to my own flesh and carnal ways.”

At that moment he looked over to his wife and said, “Don’t fear. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up on me. I have taken care of everything and you are going to be well taken care of during my absence – but I am going to leave for a period of time.
I really need to be alone right now so that I can really die to myself and get a first hand understanding of what it’s really like to die to myself. I am going to go live out on the streets with nothing for the next couple of months.”

All of us girls were in shock at what we just heard… I know for sure my mouth was wide open!

Danny reached his hand towards his wife and pulled her close and gave her a hug and a kiss and reassured her he’d be back soon and asked that she doesn’t give up on him and to please wait as he will be back. She nodded, giving him the assurance he needed to go forward.

All of us girls began shaking our heads in disbelief as to what we had just witnessed as we watched him leave the restaurant.

The next thing I know we were at Denise‘s house having another dinner gathering when who should walk through the front door, Danny! He was very dirty and cold. He had been gone four months at this point and when he came in he asked his sister for a meal and if he could please use her shower. She said, “ Of course and I will make you something… please, please go take a shower!”

When he returned from taking a shower he was dressed in clean simple clothes and was finally dry and clean.  One by one we started to ask him all sorts of questions~
“How did it go?”

“Where have you been?”

“What did you see?”

“Did you die to yourself?”

He smiled and explained it was the best experience of his life and that he’s craving even more of it.  He began to tear up and looked over at his wife and said, “I decided to join the military while I was away!! I have already signed up and I leave tomorrow for a year. Again please do not give up on me… You will be very well taken care of in my absence. Please believe… Believe in what I’m doing. I will return – I promise.”

I don’t know who asked him this but across the room someone shouted, “Have you lost your ever-loving mind? Why are you joining the military….why are you doing this?”
He looked around at each one of us and said, “I want to know what it feels like to fully sacrifice myself as Christ did for those that I love. My decision to join the military is my idea of the ultimate sacrifice and I want to know how Christ felt when he laid down his life for others. For EVERYONE – for those who love him and especially for those who persecuted him and for those who still persecute him today.
For those who deny him and his very existence…that has to hurt. I want to know what it feels like to give myself up… I want to die to my flesh. I am tired of watching this world that I live in continually be so obsessed with satisfying and quenching their own flesh when there is much more to this life than that. Life here on earth is not about self….it’s about being selfless. It’s about loving others AS Christ LOVES us!
At this point we all gathered around him… Prayed over him and sent him on his way.

I woke up after that prayer. I haven’t been able to get this dream off of my heart or out of my mind all morning. I began to wonder what is dream about and what can I learn from it?

As I thought about it, I noticed one continuous theme throughout my dream – Danny almost detested his own flesh and everything it stood for but saw the value in God and Love over his own flesh and craved it MORE than anything. He was able to see life in God and His spirit rather than in his own flashy and its desires. While I thought the way Danny went about it was extreme throughout the dream, I fully understood the importance of dying to my flesh daily in order to be open to Loving others and being Christ centered.
Dying to ones self means we aren’t obsessed with self. We no longer constantly think about getting our own way. Instead, we make the choice every day to live for Christ rather than living for ourselves. I believe this is a daily battle. We will find our value and worth in who we are IN Christ rather than apart from him serving our own flesh. There’s freedom in that!

“ He must become great and greater, and I must become less and less.” ~John 3:30