I woke up this morning with a bit of apprehension as to how I would feel throughout the day… After all,  today is my grandson‘s second birthday! I don’t know about your family, but in our family when there’s a birthday –  we C E LE B R A T E  it!
There’s usually the typical things like balloons, birthday cake, family and friends… oh and of course there’s always gifts.

But not today.

Nope, this birthday party will be different. Today we celebrate my grandson, Emmett Jem Douglas, who is spending his second birthday in heaven, by lighting a candle and eating cake in his memory. The only comfort I find in that is knowing  he is safe and he is having the time of his life!

Selfishly however; I would much rather have him here with us…to hold him, to kiss him, to squeeze him, to watch him grow up… I can only imagine him laughing as he’s squishing cake between his fingers while trying to feed himself and getting it everywhere except in his mouth!  Oh and lets not forget the  opening of his gifts!

OH MY GOSH  wouldn’t that be a joy to watch!

I wonder a lot about him. Not a day has gone by in the last twenty-four months that I have not thought about him and wondered…

I wonder if he would be the type of kid while opening a present to just rip it open or if he would be very delicate and unwrap it methodically and slowly as to not be in too much of a hurry and savor the moment and element of surprise.
I wonder what his interests would be…hot wheels, bubble guppies, Disney?
I wonder what his voice would’ve sounded like?
I wonder what color his hair would’ve been?
I wonder if he would look like is mommy or his daddy… or both?
I wonder if he would be into football or any other type of sport like his parents?
I wonder would he laugh a lot?….maybe smile a lot?
I wonder if he would be rough and tumble?
I wonder if he would love music?
I just honestly wonder…a lot.
I will say the only thing I don’t ever have to wonder is how much I love him. I will love him just as much as I love all my other grandchildren all the days of my life. And he will forever and always remain apart of our family. I have to believe that his life was not in vain and there is a greater purpose that I don’t know yet or that I don’t understand.  I may never understand until I myself get to heaven, but at the end of the day, I just simply love that boy.

Happy second birthday my sweet Emmett… Grammy loves you with her whole heart!